How to make a concerningly green pasta
(not for the weak-hearted)
1. Set the mood, build an appetite. Bring your plants indoors, tell them about your day.
2. Grab the first five greens. I picked some basil leaves from step 1, lime-yellow coriander, fresh spinach, one perfectly round raw tomato, and the memory of a certain pesto.
3. Find that boiling anger that rents your gut for free, and add it with a pinch of salt to some water. Carelessly drop the fusilli and the greens into the said water. Make sure the drops splutter onto your arm.
4. Lose your patience with onions and garlic cloves in the meantime. Sautee them in a pan. (Optional: stub your toe as you helplessly wipe your tears).
5. Transfer everything onto a vessel. Preferably the one that you thought would accommodate them all but doesn’t. Think about a certain someone (a lost friend or an old lover would do).
6. Forget about the salt you added in step 2. Fix it with some cream. Fix the cream with some squats.
7. Season with nausea, pride, and some chilli flakes. Serve hot.
8. Watch that series, forget about your pasta. Eat cold.
9. Remember the broccoli you meant to add.
Important: Subconsciously adjust your tank top throughout the process.